HELP ME!!!

HAHAH. Yes friend. STUCK. AGAIN.

It's like a series of unfortunate incidents around here. And this time I can't even blame it on crazy glue (if you need more info just read the previous post "Isn't that Super?") This time it was actually a chair that got me.

Yes it did. A chair trapped me. I know that sounds weird. It's weird. And I also know I am starting to appear accident prone to those of you who don't know me well. So please let me clarify. I am not. REALLY. I am NOT usually this accident prone. Or incident prone. Or whatever.

I mean to be honest I can recall being stuck in a stool as a child because I had this amazing idea to turn it upside down and sit in between the little bars and put my elbows on them to brace up the book I was going to read. Seemed like a great plan to me and it worked awesomely. Went without a hitch until my book was done. But when I went to get up I soon found out  my butt was wedged and I could not do anything but yell for my amazing parents to come free me. Shout out to mom and dad who I must say came running super quick.  BUT they stopped short at the door and paused to burst out laughing. And they are STILL laughing because YES that incident comes up again and again because YES they still own that old wooden stool and YES they do bring that story up from time to time and YES I get to relive it in all it's glory.  But that my friends was years and years ago. And that chair was just a cute little stool.

But THIS chair? THIS chair was vicious. No cute little stool here. Jaws of steel. It was unrelenting. And let me clarify the most important detail. NO ONE WAS AROUND. NO ONE TO HELP. Ok. I just heard you laugh out loud and picture it a bit. YEAH. It's ok. Go ahead because I literally laugh each time I remember it and I'm laughing right now too.

I want you to rest assured the likelihood of this EVER happening to anyone is like next to zero. You don't need to worry about the chair coming for you. I am VERY very sure. So if you do get trapped by a chair I want to hear about it. I need your story so please do comment on here. Because misery loves company, friend. 

But back to my story. Here's what happened:
I had just finished leading a kids small group and went to tidy up and leave. We had had chips as a treat and as I picked up my backpack and coat and went to head out the door and turn out the lights I saw a little bag wrapper sticking out from the chair so I went to pick it up.  I kicked it with my foot to get it out from under the chair and that's when the chair grabbed me. Or it seemed. (In honesty I think my kick went high). And so now my leg was caught in the metal jaws where the chair folds and my bags threw the one armed karate kicking lady off balance. So I kicked again. HARD. I kicked to shake that attacking chair off my leg. And then you guessed it. I fell.  The chair collapsed under my legs and now my legs were in a lock hold-- folded up neatly below my now arched body which was pinned OVER the chair.  I am NOT kidding. And I don't have any explanation how both legs got stuck pinned in that folding part. But they were. 

So next I start to try to leverage any of my core strength to get my upper body back up. I threw off the backpack and pushed up with my elbows on the ground. But with every move that chair just grabbed a tighter bite on my legs. Seriously. The more I tried to move the more it grabbed and bit my legs as they were squished under the weight of my own body in it's vice.

I still can't even try to explain how such a thing is possible. But there was nothing to do and NO ONE to call as everyone had gone home from that part of the building. So I did what you do when you are stuck in hard place. I said, "HELP ME JESUS!". Does that sound funny? I haven't had an experience before to call for his help while wrestling a chair. EVER. But I did. And he did. And with all my might "I" threw my body up and somehow wriggled free.

I went home laughing a little but still wondering how that was possible. The thought crossed my mind that maybe that chair had gone rogue and needed to be thrown out. (just kidding).  But I honestly was a little shaken up because being trapped and alone with no one to call is a little frightening and weird. And friends if I can remind you--the trap was a chair-- so I'm thinking that's just as weird as it gets.

The next day I started to think about it again and try to figure out rationally how that was even possible. I started to converse with God about it a little. "What is UP with that? That's the weirdest thing I've yet to have happen.",  I said to him. And after I said that I kid you not.... this is what words went into my head. "The fear of man is a snare." 

To be honest the word snare has never been so vividly understood in my mind before. You struggle in a trap and the more you move the more you are stuck. That saying, "the fear of man is a snare"-- it's from Proverbs-- it's a book of wisdom. And the end says "But whoever puts their trust in God is safe". 

I was literally in a snare chair. And the more I moved the more I was stuck.

And yes, peeps, that fear of man-- that's the snare chair of my life. I've worried about what others thought. I set as a goal to be everyone's friend. HONESTLY.  I stressed when I didn't make someone happy.  I did my utmost to make it smooth and to try to win over the love of people I couldn't seem to win. 

That snare/ trust equation? I don't know about you, but it's been like a life long lesson for me. We CAN'T be all he's made us to be and do all he's called us to do faceup with our legs in crushing trap of trying to win other's over.  They might be unhappy with us but if we've done our utmost there's nothing else to do. Love them. But don't make their voice the loudest. There's only one voice that should get that good a grip on our hearts and minds. It's God's. Listen to HIM over any other voice. 

 I remember once a lovely older lady I had asked for prayer over a situation said to me, "It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, it only matters what God thinks." It was when my husband of one year had left and I had prayed in earnest for the next year -- day after day-- hour after hour-- for my little mustard seed of faith to move the mountain and for us to be reunited.  He'd agreed to go out for his birthday a year later. I thought she was WAY OFF saying that.

But it turned out she wasn't. He wasn't meeting to reunite--he was meeting to finalize what he wanted and how to handle the divorce. In honesty I didn't want that black label of divorce on me. I didn't want to walk that path. I meant my vows and meant to keep going.

You know what? I had to let go. I had to let go of what he thought.  I had to let go of what others thought. She WAS right. She's still right. 

People may judge. They may judge you fairly and they may judge you unfairly. But the only judge who speaks words that TRULY matter is the one speaking words of life and safety for your heart and for your soul.  Listen in to HIS words and the other voices WILL grow quieter.  That snare WILL release. You WILL walk free.

Just like that snare chair was held down by the weight of my own body....the hold of others thoughts and opinions is  only held by the weight you give it.  If you are reading this and you are hurting and held down by that weight of others still-- just call it out: "HELP ME JESUS!"  He's going to come running.  AND he's not laughing at all because he's so sad you were wedged there. He's wiping those tears and lifting you up and his loving eyes are smiling as he cheers, YES! Let's run free and be who I made you to be.